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We Miss Whitney! Don't Blame Bobby!
We Miss Whitney! Don't Blame Bobby!
With the shocking news of Whitney Houston’s death we scramble to find answers. In doing so, as humans our tendency is to place blame, throw stones, ask who and what caused the loss of a loved one. I know this first hand because when I lost my mother at the tender age of 31, I went through my periods of trying to understand the why and how. I had questions like who could have made things different, if that didn’t happen, if this hadn’t taken place. There was one place I arrived, and it was the only place that brought together the missing pieces to the jigsaw of my grief. No one was to blame.
In cases where someone is taken from us at the hands of someone else, it’s clear who is responsible and who should be held accountable. Outside of this situation, death is often unexplainable, which is one of the reasons it hurts so bad.
When death comes as a result of a destructive lifestyle like a drug habit, it would be very easy to look back and speculate. If it hadn’t been for the drug dealer, or if it hadn’t been for that one time he went off to college and met her, or the one time she was influenced by him to do this or that. The reality is this, we are all responsible for ourselves. We are in great control of our lives, we create health or we create destruction. This is both freeing and terrifying, the idea of being the captain over your own life.
In the immediate shock of the passing of Whitney Houston, millions will speculate how this happened. It’s clear there will be no real answers on the cause of death until the coroner’s report is conclusive. One thing is clear, a family is mourning. A family that has already dealt with much heartache due to drug addiction and divorce.
While we do not know how our beloved Whitney died, we are aware of the drug abuse of her past. Speaking for myself the most tragic and sad part of her passing is that she was on a comeback. She’d been recovering from her addiction, she’d left it in her past. It could be very well that her past caught up to her today. As we speculate, blog, write, chat, Tweet and Facebook about the cause of her passing, let us not make a common error. Let us not blame Bobby Brown.
Moments ago, only 4 hours after Houston’s passing, I heard a CNN reporter very casually state, “Once Houston met and married Bobby Brown it was down hill from there.” I’m amazed at the arrogance of someone who so easily can size up someone’s life in one broad stroke. Do we know the specifics of their relationship? Do we know the details of their past prior to them meeting each other? Was there a CNN reporter present during those times with tape rolling?
Bobby is not to blame. The ends and outs of Whitney and 
Bobby's marriage, the how, the when, the where and why it all that happened, is no one’s business, at least no one in the public. Ultimately we all have to make decisions for ourselves. Bad choices turn into bad habits, bad habits turn into bad lifestyles, and bad lifestyles lead to destruction. This is true for us all.
So in our mourning Whitney, let us not throw stones at Bobby. Bobby is mourning today more than anyone in the public is shocked. Let us rally around this family and pray, for those who loved Whitney because they knew Whitney personally, those that are feeling more than shock and some sadness. For those whose lives just got turned upside down, pray before we speculate. To Bobbi Khristina whom today lost her mother. (Pause for a second.) That little girl lost her mother today. And to Cissy who lost her daughter. Let our focus be on praying for each one who loved Whitney.
To Whitney, please do me a favor. Sing a melody to my mother, tell her it was by my request. We will always love you.
Tiffany Lane-Crane
For SistaStrong
You May Also Want to Check Out: Whitney Houston Dies. All in Shock
Tags: Cissy, RIP, addiction, blame, bobbie, bobby, brown, cause, christina, death, More…
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Suzette Randolph on -
Hey Tiff :)
Thank you for posting beautiful pictures of a beautiful woman. When I heard about Whitney's death I went to the internet just to listen to old songs and see old pictures. Ninty percent of the pictures focused on her weaknesses and not her strengths and showed her in an unfavorable light. I just want to thank you for putting her best foot forward and letting us remember her in her beautiful moments.
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Permalink Reply by SistaStrong Team on -
Thank you Suzette. I would do nothing less. We all know Whitney's struggles but oftentimes people have the nerve to judge someone else's frailties as if they dont have their own. My entire focus will always be toward the positive, learning from mistakes but always focusing on the good. That will always be how SistaStrong presents information having to do with culture or a celebrity. There are enough gossip columns, we will never be that. Whitney was an example for us. She bounced back, that will be the last chapter of her life, not her dark days.
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Permalink Reply by Nicole Lee on
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@ Tiff...my sista you said that better than anyone could!!!!!!! We all must now focus on the family that is left behind to go thru the hurt, the loss, the longing for understanding, the chance for that last good-bye, that last hug or kiss. They are going to suffer this loss longer than any of us, for as family that void will never be filled.....I pray an over abundance, an overflow of love be sent down to Bobbi Kristina, for one so young to loose her mother is beyond devasting....she still being a baby herself.....please God send out some inner love, some peace for that young, aching, hurting heart on this day. Knowing her grandmother & other family/friends will be there with her & for her...but we know that it is only YOU, our Lord, our Father God that can get her thru this. Let her not be hurt or touched by the things the media will put out in the days to come....for only she knows how her mother was doing, how their relationship was, how the events of the past may have/have not affected her. Please help that daughter to hold close to all the tender moments she shared w/her mother, as nothing & no one can take those moments, those memories from her. Those are her gifts from her mother, that she will want to forever cherish.
Being a fan of Whitney's from the beginning I'm feeling a sorrow in my heart for her family & friends, but also for the world, that may overlook the true woman of talent, courage, sacrafice, & love for her gift for all of the "gossip" & speculation of the what happened & how this happened that will be coming in the weeks ahead....but let US-her SISTAS in this life, continue to LIFT up the woman, daughter, & mother that she was for her family, that she was for all of us. We know by her example that hard work can & will get you to your dreams. Whitney we will lift you up my sista, never faulting you for being human, always remembering you for your smile & that untouchable, unduplicatable, real & genuine VOICE!!!!!!!!! I love you!!!!
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Permalink Reply by SistaStrong on -
Amen, amen & amen to Nicole!!!!!!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Yjuania on -
No we cannot blame others for a drug addiction. We do not know if Whitney introduced Bobby to drug use or if Bobby introduced Whitney to drugs or if it was somebody else. We do not know if it was an self-medication issue or if it started as a recreational activity.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. That sip of wine, the first shot at the bar, the first joint smoked, or whatever it may be (cigarettes, marijuana, intravenous drugs, prescription pills, cough syrup, etc) may have been the first step onto a very dangerous course.
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Permalink Reply by SistaStrong Team on
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I agree 1000% Yjuania. It's so true, this culture is so quick to throw stones. Regardless of their relationship, Bobby is hurting right now. That was his wife of 10 plus years and the mother of his daughter. He's probably dealing with his own level of guilt, even if he wasnt responsible for his addiction. The public shouldnt make it worse for him.
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